NEWSLETTER - MARCH 2026

Hello Reader,

Attending group workshops used to terrify me. I would spend the whole time ‘in my head’ - constantly monitoring my appearance, pre-rehearsing what I would share, second-guessing my every move.

Sound familiar?

(Reminds me of the Ram Dass quote - “In most of our human relationships, we spend much of our time reassuring one another that our costumes of identity are on straight”)

I felt judged, out of place, an impostor of a human.

I spent so much of my focus on this internal monitoring that in group settings I was often distracted and aloof, sometimes missing important energetic shifts and emotional cues.

But, I would always hear people say how healing and powerful group events are, so I kept at it. I would muster my courage and push the edge of my comfort zone time and time again.

And after each time, I would experience a familiar cascade of shaming backlash, where the inner critic would pile on with an inventory of every nitpicking misstep.

I saw this internal suffering as a necessary part of the process - that I would eventually overcome my inadequacy through sheer willpower and repetition.

Now I see it for what it really was - a protective mechanism on full throttle.

Being authentic didn’t feel safe. Being “myself” didn’t feel acceptable. So of course, trying to force it caused a riot inside.

What I love about the IFS (Internal Family Systems) lens is that seeks to understand, rather than pathologizing or making wrong.

I thought my insecurity was something to be conquered. I didn’t understand that it was the cry of a little kid that needed to be held.

Once I understood that, everything changed.

This past fall I attended a men’s circle, the first in many years. To my delight, I was able to be present and vulnerable and honest and it was so powerful and healing - not because of the poignancy of what I shared but because I felt safe within myself, and loved and accepted by the others in the circle.

This Wednesday evening, I am hosting the monthly Integration Circle at Kuya. It’s a space focused on establishing safety and inner freedom - and then sharing from that place. No forcing necessary.

Here’s what one recent participant shared:

“From the moment I step into Joe's field, whether it’s the Kuya Integration Circle or a 1:1 session, my entire nervous system drops. I feel landed, grounded, held. There’s a level of safety in his presence that is so rare, so honest, and so deeply earned that my system naturally opens. The space he creates doesn’t just feel safe -- it feels alive. It’s spacious, intuitive, and attuned, like he’s listening to the room with every part of himself.”

If that sounds like something you’d like to experience - come join us this Wednesday evening at 6pm. Register here.​

Now Accepting New Clients

I love this work. I love sharing the tools I have learned; helping my clients navigate their inner world and then watching that ripple out into their external world in remarkable ways. And I also remember feeling SO NERVOUS to begin my inner exploration. It might not be time. But if you are feeling that call - what the Gurdjieff work calls "magnetic center" pulling you towards working on yourself - then I would love to explore with you.

Virtual or In-Person. For details on package rates and special trainings, visit www.tenoxcoaching.com.

Upcoming Workshops & Talks

April 1: Integration Circle, Kuya Wellness 6 - 8pm

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Music Update

I've dusted off my guitar for a few performances recently, one was a brilliant podcast called Little Big Voices. I played a few tunes and shared in some great conversation around love. Listen to the whole podcast here. Big thanks to Mark Caddell for inviting me to be a part of such a special offering.

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​Listen to Mystic Revival on Spotify​ Joseph's indie-folk band

​Listen to White Buffalo on Spotify​ Joseph's americana-folk solo debut

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Joseph's Art

I'm so glad we get to stay connected in this way and I'm grateful that you are in my life. Feel free to share this with anyone in your life, and I would love to hear how you are doing.